Why some people achieve a lot with in lives and some struggle to keep it together? This question has been going around in my head lately a lot. I can still hear the tune of my mother’s voice in my ears when she was telling about the life of her former colleague’s daughter. Living abroad, having a big house and highly esteemed and well paid job. Totally different from my life. And we were in the same class for 6 years in high school. My mother didn’t say it out loud, but I could hear it between the lines. Failure.

To be honest, my first reaction was to be jealous. My schoolmate had done something that I was aiming for as a teenager: I was learning languages, really focusing on studies, and eager to see the world. And… I got stuck to live in a country, getting several kids and trying to survive.

But jealousy is not my normal mental mode, so I quickly started to see it from the other point of view. What had helped her to reach these goals? Was she happy with her life herself? Did I have something she didn’t have?

I’ve heard many times in my life that “It’s great to have you here, you uplift the spirit of the team”. First time I was told that I was a bit surprised. I felt that I hadn’t done anything special, only showed the funny side of those awful incidents. Car had broken down and the service was not possible to be delivered, two members of the team were about to fall ill and the washing machine wouldn’t open the hatch. Instead of being miserable I pointed out that now when the car is at garage, also this minor problem can be fixed, and it will be more suitable for the job in the future. Plus it got into a warm place. Those two members had been working all too much lately, and they really needed some Netflix time with a hot drink. And that washing machine… It looked like an aquarium with strange fish, all those towels floating in the bubbly water 😀

It’s all about the point of view to the things. We can’t choose the things that are happening around us, but we can choose how we react to them.

And back to this former schoolmate of mine. First of all, her starting point to the life was different from mine. Her mother was a CEO of a building company and her father was the owner of another company. She was never told as a child that she’s not able to get something she needed or wanted because there’s no money. She grew up in a place where it was easy to make friends. Plenty of other children of her age lived within a small radius and they shared the same interests. When in high school she was able to become an exchange student to USA (at that time it was about 2 month’s salary just to have tickets and access to school). In her studies at the university she took the courses on economics.

I think you can already guess my side of the story: it’s practically opposite. My point is that there’s no reason to compare your life path to somebody else’s because you are two different persons. You have two different life stories. Most of the time in my life I have been happy. I didn’t have luxury items, but I actually didn’t even want them. I can’t see the point of paying hundreds, or even thousands of euros for a handbag for the designer’s name, especially if that bag is made by a person who’s salary is minimal. I don’t support that kind of business. Luxury item should be produced by lavishly paid workers, so that the benefit goes all the way through to grass root level. This very seldom happens. Besides, my happiness comes from other things than goods that I can buy.

After my divorce I felt terrible for a while. I had a feeling that manifesting doesn’t work. I struggled to keep ends meet and the bills were piling. For 3 months time the only money I got was actually children support and the extra support for my ill child. But when the first shock was over, I was able to see, that I did receive all those things that were important to me and I was manifesting. I didn’t want to become rich and famous, I wanted to build a family and have a happy life. No wonder I didn’t drown into money 😀

After I was able to see the problem, I was able to find a solution. I learned more about meditation, manifesting and feng shui, and I could see the shift in my life. As a scientist I don’t want to emphasize supernatural things, but it is all about mind’s game. If you believe in yourself, it’s easy to convince others. If you concentrate into one aspect of your life, for example money, you start to see opportunities you missed before. If you believe you can do, you don’t give in when you face the first problem. One of the best advice that I’ve learnt about affirmations, is that don’t only repeat it, but get into the feeling of receiving it, having it with you. In that way your mind has a stronger connection with the result. This has helped me enormously to find new opportunities.

And yes, as you have probably guessed, I’ve worked on a small course about manifesting. I have actually recorded it few months ago, but when I start to edit it, my inner critic starts yelling that this is BS and you can’t publish this low quality content. I’ve been called camera shy, but it goes way beyond that. Have you had similar problems? First doing something, and when you should hand it over to others, you can’t do it? Am I the only person with this problem?

If you are interested in Mindfulness meditation, here’s a book about it that I put together.

With Love

Joana

PS. the pics are created by AI for privacy reasons