Every day I spend few moments after waking visioning my day to be. I consider all those things that I must do on that day. I think about things scheduled for that specific week. Finally I vision the free time after everything is accomplished.

And it never happens in the way I envisioned it. My internet connection is slow when I should be working online and I get kicked out from secured pages. Kid falls ill and needs to be taken back home. I start mowing the lawn, but the blade cracks. All kinds of setbacks, minor or major. All these frustrating little incidents, that are part of life and that you have very little control over. There steps in the way we face these troubles.

Do you start yelling and throwing things? Letting everybody around you know that things didn’t go the way you had planned? Or do you take a step back and let your emotions get out and fly away with the wind? It is ok to feel frustrated. It’s ok to let the storm get out. But it’s not ok to remain in that state of mind and ruin the rest of the day for all the people around you. You can check if there’s a specific reason why this disruption happened and if there’s anything to be done to prevent it from happening again. Like with the internet: is the router ok, has power on and all cables attached? Can you build your child’s resiliency with different kind of food or supplements, daily habits of washing hands…? Can you check if there’s rocks or larger branches inside the grass?

One of the major things I’ve learned in my life, is that we can’t control everything happening to us. But we can control the way we react. And I’m not telling that life has been so zen around me, quite opposite sometimes, but I have tried to catch my thoughts before they become an action. It takes a lot of self control to remain calm when everything you have carefully planned is flushed down the toilet by the destiny. I didn’t plan to be a single mom. I didn’t plan to work totally different career than I had studied about. I didn’t plan to gain weight and be constantly lacking of sleep. But it happened, and partly because I am what I am. I have learned to put aside the advice that doesn’t really fit in. It is so much easier to give advice how to live the life from outside than actually living that life. Good intentions don’t equal good advice. And I thank for the piece of advice, smile and forget it.

In the evening it is the time to reflect what has happened that day. Journaling is a good way, and I’ve used it for two years now. Not every day, but when ever I’m not too tired to think and write down. It is also a good way to organize thoughts after a busy day. Do I need to mention that I’ve created a journal for myself, and it’s almost there to be published? 😉

Recreating the peace of Mind,

Joana